There are “13 types of Instagrammers” and “5 different Instagram girls you know” so here are the 11 Types of Instagram Followers.
Disclaimer: (to be read in an extremely fast like the parts-sold-separately-batteries-not-included guy)
This list is not exhaustive or exclusive, followers can be a mixture of both, there is some sarcasm mixed in there and please post whatever you want on Instagram. Let the potatoes potate.
The Likes for Likes
These followers like your photos to give you face. Hmm since you start liking my photos I will start liking yours too. They are high-maintenance followers because you know they live on the likes they get. Who and how many likes they get influences their liking decisions.
The Invisibles
There are The Incredibles, then there are The Invisibles. This family of Violets never like anything you post and are never on Instagram.
You know that they created Instagram just for the sake of it or they just never got around to using it. So they just boost your following and followers count. Wait, they may not even have followed you so… Yeah, just your following count.
The Kiamsiap
Yes you guessed it. These followers are very kiamsiap with their likes. What makes them different from the 90% of followers that didn’t like your photo is that they are ALWAYS on Instagram, but they NEVER like other people’s photos. Either that or they just don’t like you and/or your photos.
The Heng-Suay
These followers are rarely on Instagram but one fine day they like your photo, but the moon is not blue. They are usually users who have better things to do in their lives so they rarely post and rarely like. Heck, they don’t even really scroll because they will never scroll till where they left off. So when they like your photo you are like: “Well hey there! Almost forgot you had Insta!” It’s a heng-suay thing.
The Followers
These people are literally your followers. They are your homies who like every single thing you post no matter how lame, or how many photos you try to fit into that montage. But they don’t only follow you on Instagram. They will follow you, follow you wherever you may go. These are the followers that don’t need Instagram to maintain their relationship with you because they are your friends. Sometimes they only comment on the photo but “die die also won’t like”. I guess that’s what friends are for. They were there for you before Instagram was born. The salt that your relationship with them ate is more than the rice that you and Instagram had. So treat everyone with kindness but treat them with love.
The Pseudo Followers
They like everything you post, and just when you you start to think that your photos must be really good or you actually have a connection with him/her, you realise that they like everyone else’s photos as well. Some people call them the Likewhores. Not in a bad way though, just that they like many things. I just think that they are very supportive and encouraging for the Instagram community. Kudos.
The Sahpork
They like everything pork: bakwa, pork floss, kongbapao, charsiew, no I’m kidding. These people are your selfie supporters. Somehow they only like photos with your faces in it. Wait… You didn’t like that picture with the fluffy clouds and azure ocean but you just liked this close-up photo with my face in it? Like woh, hold it partner, how does that work? I don’t even. I can’t even. Seriously though thanks for the selfie support guys. Followers like you on Instagram double-tap for a better cause and are about to change the world :’)
The Foodies
Like any other list of types of blah, there are The Foodies. As the name does not suggest, they like photos that are of food. Any type of food. Sweet ones, simple ones, pretty ones, ugly ones, and then there are the ones you cook. Well, at least you know whose Instagram to go to when researching for new food places!
The Ego Boosters
There they are. You must be wondering when they would appear. Everyone has one of these. Most of the time they have nice photos, good taste and when they like your photo, they bring you to paradise. HA! Score! Many people aspire be this type of followers because their likes mean something.
The Bopians
These are the followers that only like the pictures that they are tagged in because bopian you tagged me so bopian lor must like. Yes I just used two bopians in a sentence. So what now? And they like nothing else. It doesn’t even need to have their faces in it. Maybe only their names were tagged in the caption. But they like it nevertheless. Why? Because bopian.
The Nonexistentialistareans
Yeah that word exists. ^ (weird supposed arrow sign that does not look like an arrow at all but instead looks like half of an extremely smiley face and that is just morbid.) These are the followers you wish had Instagram. So no, they never like your photos. They still refuse to jump onto the Instagram bandwagon/craze/quicksand/#whateveryouwanttocallit. Examples include @ameliabilitywouldhavebeenhernameifshehadinstagram or something like, @jiarongnoinsta (Update: she just got it)