You probably heard of this a thousand and one times from seniors ranging from your friends to your auntie to your grandfather: University is the best time to get hitched and graduating with a ‘bachelor’s degree’ is simply not an option. They are not lying to you, there are many reasons why working world is not as good a hunting ground as university, such as; age group is too diverse, the innocence of the parties is gone and so on, I will save that for another article. For now, I shall share how you can please your parents(and your aunties) during Chinese new year with a presentable other half.
I know, this person doesn’t look like your idol , Arnold Schwarzenegger ( or Angelina Jolie) , but do yourself a favor and don’t dismiss him or her so quickly by cutting off the conversation. You never know if the person of your dreams may just be infront of you once you get to know each other better. Perhaps the right one isn’t him but he may be the intermediary to that perfect person(His best friend is your Mr/Mrs right). Stay open, sign up for events, go for outings and make as many friends as possible. Just like buying lottery, the more combinations of numbers you bet on, the likelier you are to hit jackpot. It may just be the black horse in your friends list that turns out to be the winner. Stay open.
Don’t go to an event or CCA like a hunter looking for preys, you will scare off everyone. Instead, take part in activities with an aim in mind, which is to have fun and allow others to have fun. When you do that, your genuine self will surface and you will be unbearably attractive to those who know how to appreciate you(im sure there’s a lot). For those that do not, that’s good! (for both for you and for them). They have been filtered out automatically and you save your effort in dating each and every of them to find the ideal partner. I am sure you have come across people who wants to impress others and try too hard, which turns out to be the antithesis of attractiveness. Always tell yourself to have fun.
Go for it
Don’t feign ignorance. You know that NTU(or NUS, or SMU) confession platform is littered with tons of anonymous declarations of admiration towards a particular member of the opposite gender in school. You may even be one of those, but now is the time to change. Have a cute guy or girl in class whom you carry a torch for ? Make your move now! There are many ways you could do it.
• Befriend the cutie’s friend and ask him or her if cutie is attached
• Create coincidence by ‘bumping’ into cutie after class or during break and get the conversation going
• If you are shy, leverage on internet(which is the next tip)
• Sit near cutie so that you can be assigned to the same project group
There are many other ways to send the signal across , and you can be creative with it. The bottom line is to do something about it other than typing it on confession groups. It doesn’t matter whether you are a girl or guy. You have the permission to take initiative in the 21st century ( at least from Digital Senior). Whats the worst that can happen? Can it be more painful than regret ? If not, what are you waiting for?
Leverage on internet
We Gen-Ys grow up in the age of computers and it is nearly impossible to find someone of our age group who doesn’t have a facebook profile(if it’s the case, he’s probably too dangerous to befriend). There’s a reason why there is a search bar on Facebook’s homepage- it is for stalking. Look up hottie’s facebook profile to see if he or she is already attached and send a message through facebook saying that you are classmate X and would like to borrow his notes( or other excuses). There you go! If everything goes well on the internet, both of you will feel more comfortable with each other and a date is on its way!
Don’t give up
Yes, among those whom you are attracted to, there are bound to be a good segment of them who are already attached or who are just not interested in you. You can easily get the hint through the tone of message or verbal and non-verbal cues during conversation. It will be lackluster and overly concise. (Of course, some people may just communicate that way to everybody). When that happens, don’t take it personal and don’t give up! It is not a sign that you are unattractive, it only means that he or she is not the right person for you. There are about 30,000 people in each of the 3 universities, which is more people than you can ever date in your university life, so be ready to move on !! He is not the only tree in the forest. There are taller and stronger trees around.
Do you find yourself meeting the wrong person time and again ? Then this is for you.
This is a classic advice that applies not just in military, but more so in romantic battlefield. Before looking at the external world for gratification and rushing into combat zone, decide for yourself what makes you tick first. Come out with a list of traits that you would like to see in your ideal partner. Ask yourself what kind of person this ideal partner will be attracted to and work on yourself to be that person. Once you do that, you become a magnet that draws the correct person into your life, instead of having to play catching all the time.
Also, join a CCA or activity which you have a genuine interest in and you can find someone who you can click with. A relationship works only when there is something in common. So, know what you want, work on yourself and your next relationship will be your last.
Last but not least
As you can tell from this article, the goal is not to get attached, it is to land your prince or princess charming. As Steve Jobs had it, don’t settle, keep finding because you deserve the best! Just like landing your perfect career, somehow your heart already knows what it wants. Listen to your gut feeling and go with the flow. Remember to enjoy your university life and have lots of fun but keep your eyes open along the way as he/she may just be around the corner. Best of luck!